hfht/SemEval-2021-Task-7-Jokes · Datasets at Hugging Face

id int64 8k 9k	text stringlengths 8 286
8,101	What did the fat cat go to prison for? Purrrjury
8,102	A group of leprechauns was recently busted for selling fake granite Yeah, they were sham rocks.
8,103	Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!
8,104	This is how Venmo suggests you approach the problem first. I sent the message a few days ago and Random Emily has not replied. I just sent a "reminder" and I want to die
8,105	Just got back from a very emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers.
8,106	How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Nail a piece of toast to the ceiling.
8,107	I got caught having sex with the secretary by my wife My wife was crying and saying you cant do this to me! I said: I Know thats why im doing it to her!
8,108	California Fun Fact: 50% of our land is under yoga mats.
8,109	If life's so hard already, why do we bring more trouble down on ourselves? What's up with the need to hit the self-destruct button?
8,110	At least when blacks started moving to this country we didn't have to worry about losing out jobs. Just our wallets.
8,111	What do you call people who pretend to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day? Counterfitz
8,112	On getting the best album reviews she's ever received with Lover, she says: "It gets me emotional even talking about it. I can't explain to you how good that feels because it's the first thing that no one can take from me. No one can sell it. It's mine.' Taylor Swift On Seacrest
8,113	Arriba mis DODGERS!
8,114	These walls are funny.First you hate 'em,then you get used to 'em.Enough time passes,you get so you depend on them.That's institutionalized.
8,115	Justin Smoak just went yard BARELY over Broxton's hand in CF! Brewers
8,116	The juice of fresh raw cabbage has been proven to heal stomach ulcer ulcer
8,117	For no reason whatsoever, I’ve been thinking about how long we have until Young Boomer and Elder Gen-X names become cool baby names again; GIVE ME BABY BARBARA AND BABY LINDA!!
8,118	"Hi, I'm not a scammer, random Emily, but can you please send me back the chunk of money I sent you last week?"
8,119	About to try DigDuo for the first time. Very afraid of what Tonni has in store for me! dig the results
8,120	The 1-2 punch of the Thong Episode plus the Spice Girls Episode last night was really something. When Maya takes a bite of the apple bong and throws it on the ground!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8,121	I asked the surgeon: can I administer my own anaesthetic? The surgeon said: Go ahead, knock yourself out.
8,122	People will wonder "why is the NBA Boycott over"? What changed? Did they accomplish anything? A TON just happened. Gonna podcast about it later.
8,123	boss: can i see you in my office me: [sheathing sword] why
8,124	You don't say "...fag capitols of the world" by accident . It wasn't a slip of the tongue. That's in your vernacular. That's who you are. You use that, feel that and believe that in your heart. This was not an accident by Thom Brennaman.
8,125	"No, thanks. I'm a vegetarian."...is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.
8,126	In DC looking for a few great organic restaurants to try. Open to suggestions... and go!
8,127	Cashier: Would you like to donate $2 to end world hunger? Me: Of course. Holy shit, I had no idea we were that close.
8,128	I broke my finger last week... On the other hand I'm OK.
8,129	What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and.... ....I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore.
8,130	If you pay close attention... there is always something amazing happening.
8,131	Now you wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I could run like the wind blows. From that day on, if I was going somewhere, I was running!
8,132	I have a Pakistani girl friend. Last night she said that she wanted to blow me. Now I wasn't sure if I should lower my pants or call the cops.
8,133	You momma so stupid.. She got fired from the m&m factory for throwing away all the W's
8,134	Ugh your paleontologist friend is coming? He's so boring! Don't worry, I have a plan to keep him distracted pulls out seven layer dip
8,135	in ancient Rome, celery was considered an aphrodisiac. it contains androsterone a pheromone in men's sweat glands that attracts women
8,136	"Only miss the sun when it starts to snow, only know you love her when you let her go." - Passenger.
8,137	Top 5 causes of loose stools: 5. Indian food 4. Lactose 3. Coffee 2. Mexican food 1. IKEA
8,138	What a DISASTER of a 1st q for the Bucks.
8,139	IT'S GAME DAY. Whose team are you on? Super Bowl
8,140	911: ok just stay where you are me: [stuck in the baby swing] ok
8,141	"This sounds bad but I don't mean it in a bad way!!!"
8,142	I've decided to make an all-natural shampoo made from roots found in Africa. I'll call it Ethnic Cleansing.
8,143	I was given a leaflet the other day on anger management. I lost it.
8,144	Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.
8,145	How does a mother in West Virginia know when her daughter is on her period? Her son's dick tastes like blood.
8,146	"Most misunderstandings in the world could be avoided if people would simply take the time to ask, 'What else could this mean?'" Shannon L. Adler. love u
8,147	Here we go! The final countdown begins NOW American Idol
8,148	hey i'm on NPR this morning!
8,149	red meat starting now on west coast...hear we go!
8,150	I was struck by the work these organizations are doing and while everyone's priority right now is to stay safer at home, I know there are many of us looking for ways to help.
8,151	What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
8,152	"It's a boy!" I shouted with tears. "I don't believe it. A boy!" It was at that moment I decided I'd never visit Thailand again.
8,153	Freudly, my dear, I don't give a dad.
8,154	Do you think Spain knew what they were doing when they let us have Florida?
8,155	As I was checking into the hotel I asked, 'Is the porn channel disabled?' The girl at the desk said, 'No, you sick bastard'.
8,156	I can't believe I got sacked from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
8,157	"And if you, you want me too.Let's make a move." - Kiss You.
8,158	So the Substack Top 25 Paid is v. white and v. male — the Top 25 Unpaid is also pretty white, but includes significantly more women. I have some theories about this!
8,159	So I was shopping online for antique guns..... and I got to the World War II section. I selected guns of French origin. They were all in mint condition.
8,160	You're everything I see in my dreams.' - Bruno Mars.
8,161	You can seek the advice of others, surround yourself with trusted advisors... but in the end, the decision is always yours, and yours alone.
8,162	Im the nice guy that finished first..
8,163	I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.
8,164	What do wizards call unmagical African Americans? Niggles
8,165	One minute my girlfriend is asking me to stop cross dressing, and when I argue about it she tells me to put myself in her shoes.
8,166	I'd hate to be a midget chef. The steaks are too high.
8,167	My girlfriend said we should experiment more in the bedroom. This morning we synthesised a new protein chain.
8,168	Schitt’s streak!!! Was that cool to post
8,169	Don't be racist. It doesn't matter if you're black, asian or normal!
8,170	Everyone always says no one likes Africans. Well I've just been to Africa and I can assure you those fucking flies are quite fond of them.
8,171	A mobster killed an Irishman with a porcelain doll He was accused of knick-knack paddy whack
8,172	My eyelids are so sexy, I can't keep my eyes off them.
8,173	I have a Twitter list, Mountain West, where I put anyone I've ever interacted with who lives in the Mountain West, broadly conceived. This helps me see a lot of very local stuff but also shows me a ton of stuff that Big City Journalists aren't necessarily tweeting
8,174	"Does this uniform make me look fat?" - Insecurity Guard
8,175	When u seek what needs to be done, the comm can tell u what they don't want. We need to ensure the comm informs the process. ~Dr. I Smith
8,176	You never think the last time's going to be the last time, you think it will be more. You think you have forever, but you don't.
8,177	I believe that America's Food Fund will be a powerful way to make a difference for our neighbors in need and am committing $1 million to this fund to support those facing food insecurity.
8,178	Have you already received your ballot? Return that bitch NOW. Read all the instructions on how to do so five times and get it on its way to counted NOW.
8,179	My sister told me she's dating an Irish guy I said, "Oh really?" She replied, "No, O'Reilly."
8,180	"I love being Jewish, but is it work or life to read a book on Jewish themes? Is it work or life to celebrate a holiday at your house that includes some attendees who are also members of your synagogue because you've sort of become friends?"
8,181	Kobe Bryant you were the greatest. You made our city and the rest of the world so proud. Every basketball fan knew the magnificence of the Mamba. Love and healing to Vanessa and those little girls. God, this is just the worst ever.
8,182	"I need to know that it's possible that two people can stay happy together forever." - Juno
8,183	What....a depressing goal line posession.... packers ¤¦ââï
8,184	Oh so this bath is only for birds? Pass me my pants, I have a pocket copy of the constitution in there I'd like you to read.
8,185	The woman who ran the refugee organization I profiled told me that it was incredibly difficult to explain that refugees may be refugees but they want clean, unbroken things too
8,186	A Polish guy goes to the eye doctor The doctor holds up a chart: K Z S Y X W K P G and asks the man if he can read it. "Read it?" he says, "I know the guy!"
8,187	Dim light bulbs or bright light bulbs? Watts the difference.
8,188	"People are people, and sometimes we change our minds." - Taylor Swift.
8,189	The problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we have done... or that's been done to us.
8,190	Decluttered my closet this weekend- not a single pair of my pants "sparked joy" and now I'm being charged with indecent exposure.
8,191	I'm officially in midseason form: I hate Tuesday's and Wednesday's without football. Didn't take me long AT ALL. â¤
8,192	The other day, I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow... I called her up and asked, ''Did you get my drift?''
8,193	I can't believe I got arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting around doing nothing.
8,194	"We as clergy are being expected to pursue a graduate-level degree that takes a minimum of three years to complete for a job that is increasingly paid on a part-time basis. But to quote a colleague of mine: there's no such thing as part-time ministry, only part-time wages."
8,195	On facebook you can see how much your friends change. Like this one guy I've known since grade 1 doesn't talk about dinosaurs at all anymore
8,196	Dear student loan, thank you for saving my life. I can't think how I can ever repay you.
8,197	If you watch an Apple store get robbed, are you an iWitness?
8,198	THAT WAS EXHAUSTING
8,199	adam: [naming the birds] tits god: lol ok but let's take this a little more seriously adam: blue-footed boobies god: you can't name all the birds after boobs adam: [pointing to rooster] cock
8,200	I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

8,101

What did the fat cat go to prison for? Purrrjury

8,102

A group of leprechauns was recently busted for selling fake granite Yeah, they were sham rocks.

8,103

Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!

8,104

This is how Venmo suggests you approach the problem first. I sent the message a few days ago and Random Emily has not replied. I just sent a "reminder" and I want to die

8,105

Just got back from a very emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers.

8,106

How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Nail a piece of toast to the ceiling.

8,107

I got caught having sex with the secretary by my wife My wife was crying and saying you cant do this to me! I said: I Know thats why im doing it to her!

8,108

California Fun Fact: 50% of our land is under yoga mats.

8,109

If life's so hard already, why do we bring more trouble down on ourselves? What's up with the need to hit the self-destruct button?

8,110

At least when blacks started moving to this country we didn't have to worry about losing out jobs. Just our wallets.

8,111

What do you call people who pretend to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day? Counterfitz

8,112

On getting the best album reviews she's ever received with Lover, she says: "It gets me emotional even talking about it. I can't explain to you how good that feels because it's the first thing that no one can take from me. No one can sell it. It's mine.' Taylor Swift On Seacrest

8,113

Arriba mis DODGERS!

8,114

These walls are funny.First you hate 'em,then you get used to 'em.Enough time passes,you get so you depend on them.That's institutionalized.

8,115

Justin Smoak just went yard BARELY over Broxton's hand in CF! Brewers

8,116

The juice of fresh raw cabbage has been proven to heal stomach ulcer ulcer

8,117

For no reason whatsoever, I’ve been thinking about how long we have until Young Boomer and Elder Gen-X names become cool baby names again; GIVE ME BABY BARBARA AND BABY LINDA!!

8,118

"Hi, I'm not a scammer, random Emily, but can you please send me back the chunk of money I sent you last week?"

8,119

About to try DigDuo for the first time. Very afraid of what Tonni has in store for me! dig the results

8,120

The 1-2 punch of the Thong Episode plus the Spice Girls Episode last night was really something. When Maya takes a bite of the apple bong and throws it on the ground!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8,121

I asked the surgeon: can I administer my own anaesthetic? The surgeon said: Go ahead, knock yourself out.

8,122

People will wonder "why is the NBA Boycott over"? What changed? Did they accomplish anything? A TON just happened. Gonna podcast about it later.

8,123

boss: can i see you in my office me: [sheathing sword] why

8,124

You don't say "...fag capitols of the world" by accident . It wasn't a slip of the tongue. That's in your vernacular. That's who you are. You use that, feel that and believe that in your heart. This was not an accident by Thom Brennaman.

8,125

"No, thanks. I'm a vegetarian."...is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.

8,126

In DC looking for a few great organic restaurants to try. Open to suggestions... and go!

8,127

Cashier: Would you like to donate $2 to end world hunger? Me: Of course. Holy shit, I had no idea we were that close.

8,128

I broke my finger last week... On the other hand I'm OK.

8,129

What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and.... ....I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore.

8,130

If you pay close attention... there is always something amazing happening.

8,131

Now you wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I could run like the wind blows. From that day on, if I was going somewhere, I was running!

8,132

I have a Pakistani girl friend. Last night she said that she wanted to blow me. Now I wasn't sure if I should lower my pants or call the cops.

8,133

You momma so stupid.. She got fired from the m&m factory for throwing away all the W's

8,134

Ugh your paleontologist friend is coming? He's so boring! Don't worry, I have a plan to keep him distracted *pulls out seven layer dip*

8,135

in ancient Rome, celery was considered an aphrodisiac. it contains androsterone a pheromone in men's sweat glands that attracts women

8,136

"Only miss the sun when it starts to snow, only know you love her when you let her go." - Passenger.

8,137

Top 5 causes of loose stools: 5. Indian food 4. Lactose 3. Coffee 2. Mexican food 1. IKEA

8,138

What a DISASTER of a 1st q for the Bucks.

8,139

IT'S GAME DAY. Whose team are you on? Super Bowl

8,140

911: ok just stay where you are me: [stuck in the baby swing] ok

8,141

"This sounds bad but I don't mean it in a bad way!!!"

8,142

I've decided to make an all-natural shampoo made from roots found in Africa. I'll call it Ethnic Cleansing.

8,143

I was given a leaflet the other day on anger management. I lost it.

8,144

Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.

8,145

How does a mother in West Virginia know when her daughter is on her period? Her son's dick tastes like blood.

8,146

"Most misunderstandings in the world could be avoided if people would simply take the time to ask, 'What else could this mean?'" Shannon L. Adler. love u

8,147

Here we go! The final countdown begins NOW American Idol

8,148

hey i'm on NPR this morning!

8,149

red meat starting now on west coast...hear we go!

8,150

I was struck by the work these organizations are doing and while everyone's priority right now is to stay safer at home, I know there are many of us looking for ways to help.

8,151

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

8,152

"It's a boy!" I shouted with tears. "I don't believe it. A boy!" It was at that moment I decided I'd never visit Thailand again.

8,153

Freudly, my dear, I don't give a dad.

8,154

Do you think Spain knew what they were doing when they let us have Florida?

8,155

As I was checking into the hotel I asked, 'Is the porn channel disabled?' The girl at the desk said, 'No, you sick bastard'.

8,156

I can't believe I got sacked from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

8,157

"And if you, you want me too.Let's make a move." - Kiss You.

8,158

So the Substack Top 25 Paid is v. white and v. male — the Top 25 Unpaid is also pretty white, but includes significantly more women. I have some theories about this!

8,159

So I was shopping online for antique guns..... and I got to the World War II section. I selected guns of French origin. They were all in mint condition.

8,160

You're everything I see in my dreams.' - Bruno Mars.

8,161

You can seek the advice of others, surround yourself with trusted advisors... but in the end, the decision is always yours, and yours alone.

8,162

Im the nice guy that finished first..

8,163

I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.

8,164

What do wizards call unmagical African Americans? Niggles

8,165

One minute my girlfriend is asking me to stop cross dressing, and when I argue about it she tells me to put myself in her shoes.

8,166

I'd hate to be a midget chef. The steaks are too high.

8,167

My girlfriend said we should experiment more in the bedroom. This morning we synthesised a new protein chain.

8,168

Schitt’s streak!!! Was that cool to post

8,169

Don't be racist. It doesn't matter if you're black, asian or normal!

8,170

Everyone always says no one likes Africans. Well I've just been to Africa and I can assure you those fucking flies are quite fond of them.

8,171

A mobster killed an Irishman with a porcelain doll He was accused of knick-knack paddy whack

8,172

My eyelids are so sexy, I can't keep my eyes off them.

8,173

I have a Twitter list, Mountain West, where I put anyone I've ever interacted with who lives in the Mountain West, broadly conceived. This helps me see a lot of very local stuff but also shows me a ton of stuff that Big City Journalists aren't necessarily tweeting

8,174

"Does this uniform make me look fat?" - Insecurity Guard

8,175

When u seek what needs to be done, the comm can tell u what they don't want. We need to ensure the comm informs the process. ~Dr. I Smith

8,176

You never think the last time's going to be the last time, you think it will be more. You think you have forever, but you don't.

8,177

I believe that America's Food Fund will be a powerful way to make a difference for our neighbors in need and am committing $1 million to this fund to support those facing food insecurity.

8,178

Have you already received your ballot? Return that bitch NOW. Read all the instructions on how to do so five times and get it on its way to counted NOW.

8,179

My sister told me she's dating an Irish guy I said, "Oh really?" She replied, "No, O'Reilly."

8,180

"I love being Jewish, but is it work or life to read a book on Jewish themes? Is it work or life to celebrate a holiday at your house that includes some attendees who are also members of your synagogue because you've sort of become friends?"

8,181

Kobe Bryant you were the greatest. You made our city and the rest of the world so proud. Every basketball fan knew the magnificence of the Mamba. Love and healing to Vanessa and those little girls. God, this is just the worst ever.

8,182

"I need to know that it's possible that two people can stay happy together forever." - Juno

8,183

What....a depressing goal line posession.... packers ¤¦ââï

8,184

Oh so this bath is only for birds? Pass me my pants, I have a pocket copy of the constitution in there I'd like you to read.

8,185

The woman who ran the refugee organization I profiled told me that it was incredibly difficult to explain that refugees may be refugees but they want clean, unbroken things too

8,186

A Polish guy goes to the eye doctor The doctor holds up a chart: K Z S Y X W K P G and asks the man if he can read it. "Read it?" he says, "I *know* the guy!"

8,187

Dim light bulbs or bright light bulbs? Watts the difference.

8,188

"People are people, and sometimes we change our minds." - Taylor Swift.

8,189

The problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we have done... or that's been done to us.

8,190

Decluttered my closet this weekend- not a single pair of my pants "sparked joy" and now I'm being charged with indecent exposure.

8,191

I'm officially in midseason form: I hate Tuesday's and Wednesday's without football. Didn't take me long AT ALL. â¤

8,192

The other day, I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow... I called her up and asked, ''Did you get my drift?''

8,193

I can't believe I got arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting around doing nothing.

8,194

"We as clergy are being expected to pursue a graduate-level degree that takes a minimum of three years to complete for a job that is increasingly paid on a part-time basis. But to quote a colleague of mine: there's no such thing as part-time ministry, only part-time wages."

8,195

On facebook you can see how much your friends change. Like this one guy I've known since grade 1 doesn't talk about dinosaurs at all anymore

8,196

Dear student loan, thank you for saving my life. I can't think how I can ever repay you.

8,197

If you watch an Apple store get robbed, are you an iWitness?

8,198

THAT WAS EXHAUSTING

8,199

adam: [naming the birds] tits god: lol ok but let's take this a little more seriously adam: blue-footed boobies god: you can't name all the birds after boobs adam: [pointing to rooster] cock

8,200

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.