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I am in a high stress position for a tech company. I am being overworked and underpaid for my contributions and it is not only giving me anxiety, but also demoralizing.
What can I do to manage my stress? | It sounds like you are experiencing burnout and have very little, if no job satisfaction. There are some aspects of this that are in your control and others that are not. What type of work do you typically enjoy? Do you enjoy high stress work? What keeps you in this job? Is there a reason you have stayed? Is your b... | 3,447 |
I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this? | It can be uncomfortable talking to someone about your life in the great detail that is normally necessary for counseling to be beneficial. Since you're already going to counseling, congratulations on taking that big, first, stress-inducing step. Hopefully by now you are starting to feel a little more comfortable with y... | 3,449 |
I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them, but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks.
Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.
Are they right... | I would not focus on what other people say. Do you feel what you have described impacts your day to day functioning? Try to evaluate how is your self esteem, motivation and self confidence. How about negative thoughts or hopelessness? Any concerns about your grades sliding down? If you answered yes to any questions, ma... | 3,450 |
I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? | Life is beautiful without unwanted thoughts and stress. With proper strategies and tools it is possible to regain control over your thoughts. I guess you are just having "thoughts" and not actually "hearing voices"? My suggestion is to see a therapist and go from there. | 3,451 |
I don't remember when the voices in my head started, but I remember Hearing them when I was little.
I know it's not normal to hear voices that aren't your own. I fight the voices and I want them to stop. They've been here so long and I want them gone. How can I make the voices stop? | You are right. It is not normal to hear voices that aren't your own but the fact is some people do. In my experience, medication seem to help. It is also important to understand when you hear voices the most - meaning it is important to understand what the triggers are. It is also important to understand when the voice... | 3,452 |
I've hit my head on walls and floors ever since I was young. I sometimes still do it but I don't exactly know why,
I have anxiety and I had a rough childhood but now I'll start to hit my head and sometimes not realize it but I don't know how to stop or even why I'm doing it.
How can I help myself to change my ... | Give yourself a lot of empathy and care for having had a rough childhood and realizing that life can be better than how you were treated when growing up.Be patient with yourself too bc lasting change takes time. Alternatives to hitting your head require constant gentle reminders to do these new behaviors, or if you've ... | 3,453 |
I know that I need to get past my feelings for this person I fell in love with, but t's so difficult to move on because he showed me feelings I've never felt before.
I feel like I don't want to be without my genuine love for him, but logically, I know I need to be without him. I can't discuss this with anybody in ... | Love is a deep and nuanced feeling so start to accept that a simple cutting of emotional connection isn't possible.Honor the love you felt for this person. Acknowledgement of your love feelings will most likely help you find a dignified way to accept them while at the same time slowly developing new ways to live your ... | 3,454 |
How does a person start the counseling process? | Starting the counseling process can be daunting but here are some ways that hopefully help make the process a little less overwhelming. First,I'd start with finding a therapist through a therapist directory and searching for a therapist specifically in your area and with the expertise you're looking for. There are many... | 3,456 |
My son was diagnosed with autism a few years ago and I stopped working so that I could take care of him. I also was dealing with an abusive relationship (mentally, physically, and emotionally). Now I live like a recluse and I always feel nervous around people.
How can I feel more comfortable around other people? | It sounds like you have taken on a caretaker role for a while as well as experienced some pretty severe interpersonal trauma. It makes sense that you would feel nervous around people. Working through the trauma of an abusive relationship in itself can be a difficult process. And then to add on the caretaker part can... | 3,457 |
I don't remember when the voices in my head started, but I remember Hearing them when I was little.
I know it's not normal to hear voices that aren't your own. I fight the voices and I want them to stop. They've been here so long and I want them gone. How can I make the voices stop? | How is your life going overall?Since you hear voices since you were young I wonder whether you mean the thoughts each of us has about what to do, our opinions, including self-criticism and praise.I try to understand how severe a problem these voices are if you've managed to get to a point in life of awareness about the... | 3,458 |
I have a friend that who I used to be in a relationship with. It was brief and turned into us being just good friends.
I spent the weekend with him and it upset my boyfriend. Was i wrong? | Hello. There are a number of factors playing into this situation. A former romantic partner coming back onto the scene during a current relationship; you spending alone time (and spending the night) with that former partner; and the uneasy feelings experienced by your current partner (boyfriend). Now those are the ones... | 3,459 |
There is just no communication at all between us. She sleeps constantly all day (not at night). She acts angry and unfocused and stays in her very messy room all the time. The only time she comes out is to eat.
She has aches and fatigue, weight gain, hair loss and skin problems. She does not look after her healt... | I'm sorry for what sounds like a frustrating situation.For how long has your daughter lived the way you describe and did it start all of a sudden or more gradually come on?What you write sounds like a major depressive disorder and this can start for a variety of reasons and improve in just as many different ways.Start ... | 3,460 |
I am in my early 20s and I still live with my parents because I can't afford to live alone.
My mother says that if I live under her roof I have to follow her rules. She is trying to control my life. What should I do? | Unfortunately you seem to have yourself in a double bind. By living with your mom she is not going to stop her attempts at what you perceive as "controlling". There is no use in trying to debate or get her to "see your point". As long as your there and you personalize her attempts at control, then you will find yoursel... | 3,463 |
I feel so alone. I have so many people around me, but it seems as they just listen and dont understand. They say it will all be okay, or they don't listen to me st all. Everyone says they are here for me but it doesn't feel like they are. Why do I feel so alone? | We feel alone because we are not comfortable with being our self. When you find that nobody is around do you feel alone? Your never alone. Once you take the journey to really understand who you are and unconditionally loving all that is you, there will never be an alone moment. We seek outside of self to fill inside. T... | 3,464 |
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. I've been really sad lately and for the past few months I've realized I'm just way too dependent on him. It makes me really upset to be so dependent on someone else, but I can't help it. I don't even know who I am without him.
How can I be less dependent on m... | From what you write you've got good motivation to change and awareness as to what you'd like to change. These are very good predictors that you'll be successful in what you'd like to change.Try, the next time you realize you're depending on your bf instead of friends, yourself, to interrupt whatever typical action you'... | 3,465 |
My fiancé and I have been together for 3 years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me.
I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it ... | Definitely yes, it is possible for a couple to trust each other again and become close with each other.Since your trust was broken, your fiancé would need to earn back your belief that he is faithful to you.Do you feel he empathizes with how you felt to find out about his cheating?Before you have this question answered... | 3,466 |
I'm dealing with an illness that will never go away and I feel like my life will never change for the better. I feel alone and that i have no one.
How can I overcome this pain and learn to be happy alone? | Is it possible that even though your illness is chronic, that it goes through phases in which you are more comfortable and that it requires less focus from you than at other times?I think the idea of having a lifelong illness is frustrating and can be depressing to think about. Thoughts are not necessarily the truth o... | 3,467 |
After first meeting the client, what is the process that a counselor facilitates? | Each counselor may have a different process, so I'm not the end all authority here. For myself, I review policies and confidentiality concerns with people first and answer any questions they have. Then I'll let them know I'll be writing a lot in this session and I have an assessment form that I like to get completed, ... | 3,468 |
I have a friend that who I used to be in a relationship with. It was brief and turned into us being just good friends.
I spent the weekend with him and it upset my boyfriend. Was i wrong? | While you can't be responsible for your boyfriend's feelings, relationships do come with expectations. Both people in a relationship bring their own expectations into it. These expectations are usually unspoken, but result in conflict as you are experiencing here! Your boyfriend expects you not to spend the weekend ... | 3,470 |
I start counseling/therapy in a few days (I'm freaking out) but my main fear is that I'll cry and embarrass myself, is it something to worry about? | Lots of people do cry in session, but your therapist won't be uneasy with this. Crying is a natural response and it also releases toxins, so some might say it's necessary! Remember that you can be in charge of what you talk about in your session and if there's something that feels too uncomfortable, just say, "I'm no... | 3,471 |
I crossdress and like to be feminine but I am attracted to women, but yet that seems to bother girls I date or ask out.
How can I approach them about it? should I hold back and keep it a secret, or should I just be up-front about it. I wonder if i should stop or if I should continue to do it since it makes me happ... | While this might not be the first thing you want to discuss when you meet someone, it is important for you to be yourself. It's better to weed out 10 people who can't accept you to find that one who can. | 3,472 |
My fiancé and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the "straight and narrow" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past, especially that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others.
His insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help hi... | You are right that his insecurities are at the root of the issue. You cannot change that for him. He will have to do the work to handle those emotions on his own. What you can do is reassure him in whatever ways possible, but always recognizing that you can't "fix" this for him. When I work with people who struggle... | 3,473 |
I'm obsessing about a terrible breakup. Everything is a constant reminder. How do I move on? | Initially, everything is a reminder because there is a trace of that other person present in everything in your life. When we lose someone, we're saying goodbye to what we thought our future was going to be. Accepting that's changed and allowing ourselves to envision a new future is necessary to "move on". Start learn... | 3,474 |
I have PTSD. The side effects are really bad and have impacts on sex, anger and my relationships. I even lost my job month ago.
How can I get my life back? | It is brave of you to speak out, PTSD is not a joke and it can quickly take a toll on all aspect of life. Please, know that you are not alone and with the right help you can overcome these challenges. Living with PTSD can be very emotionally exhausting, but you can learn ways to cope with its challenges and find fulfil... | 3,475 |
My daughter seemed to be developing at a normal rate until about the age of 10. She then started to act younger than she is.
Now she only wants to play with younger kids and she doesn't act her age. I don't know why this is happening. Is this normal? | This is certainly an important issue to look into, It is always helpful to speak with the child's pediatrician since they are most familiar with the child's developmental history. Also, children tend to regress behaviorally when facing events and interactions they feel to have no control over, this can be as simple as ... | 3,476 |
I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? | Talking to a licensed profession who can discuss this in greater depth can be best. As a general information, in short, I can say that our thoughts are greatly influenced by our early life experiences. Our thoughts are processed through schemes, these are mental images or templates by which we make meaning of the world... | 3,477 |
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do? | Bravo, on your success in securing a job and also for being proactive with your need. Starting a new job can be scary and having to travel away from your home and family can make it even more anxiety provoking. Do allow yourself to be anxious about this new journey, we can be hard on ourselves, think if it was a friend... | 3,478 |
I love my girlfriend so much. I get an erection even just thinking about her or seeing her. But the two times we tried to have sex I couldn't get an erection. We've only had sex once and it was a long time ago.
Why this is happening and what can I do about it? | I'm sorry to hear of your problem.First step as always when a possible medical explanation exists, go for a urology check up to either your internist or a urologist.Once you know there is no medical reason which would prevent an erection, then we can consider the psychological and emotion based factors.Maybe you're ner... | 3,480 |
I know I need to deal with my depression. But I don't know how and I don't want to tell anyone.
How can I deal with depression without telling anyone? | Love yourself more and treat yourself kindly, with empathy and compassion.Usually when people feel depressed they also feel lonely and isolated. Since at this time you wouldn't want to tell anyone about the way you feel, which includes the possibility that a few of the ones whom you tell would offer you emotional supp... | 3,481 |
My girlfriend just quit drinking and she became really depressed. She told me that she wants to move. What can I do to help her? I want her to stay. | People often have very different values and opinions when they are drinking excessively and when they stop drinking so much.Did the two of you share drinking as an activity? If yes, then did you stop drinking too?Often when partners meet each other as drinking buddies when one gets sober, the relationship ends. Once ... | 3,482 |
I am in my early 20s and I still live with my parents because I can't afford to live alone.
My mother says that if I live under her roof I have to follow her rules. She is trying to control my life. What should I do? | Hello. Even though legally you are an adult, it is a matter of courtesy to respect the homes of your parents. As long as you live there, you should be considerate of their needs. At the same time, there should be conversation about what each of you considers appropriate as it pertains to communication between a parent ... | 3,483 |
Our relationship ended about 7 years ago, but don't know how to let go. How can I get over that person and move on? | What you're most likely trying to get over is to be attracted to the qualities which you felt attracted to in the person.The problem isn't releasing yourself from the person, per se. Letting go of a person means separating yourself from the qualities in a partner which you value.Two possibilities exist.Either you con... | 3,484 |
My husband and I had our first threesome recently. Everyone was drinking and he was on her more then me.
He and I talked about it afterwards and it made me feel better, and now I'm craving more of it. But before it gets close to happening I get this empty feeling. Why am I feeling this way? | Because the acrobatics and excitement of sex has nothing to do with the meaning of deeper emotional attachment to another person with whom we are in a relationship.Try to distinguish between your feelings of excitement from the novel sexual arrangement and what you feel is necessary in order to feel emotionally close a... | 3,485 |
I have PTSD. The side effects are really bad and have impacts on sex, anger and my relationships. I even lost my job month ago.
How can I get my life back? | Slowly is the rate at which you'll get back your life.Being traumatized means not feeling safe in almost all areas of life.Be patient with yourself as you try to regain trust that people will not harm you and will be sources of satisfaction in your life.It is possible that the trauma in your life requires such great at... | 3,486 |
I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them, but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks.
Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.
Are they right... | If we were in my office together, I would offer that most likely you are feeling somewhat depressed. It's most important for me to impress that you "don't have to live like this..." Other helpful information: Have you experienced similar symptoms before? Anyone in your family been depressed before? Based on other p... | 3,488 |
I know that I need to get past my feelings for this person I fell in love with, but t's so difficult to move on because he showed me feelings I've never felt before.
I feel like I don't want to be without my genuine love for him, but logically, I know I need to be without him. I can't discuss this with anybody in ... | There is no wrong or right way to define a relationship. I believe each relationship we are in is an opportunity to expand and to know self on a deeper level. We are conditioned to believe that we are not valued, or worth much without the confirmation of others and the world around us. Give yourself time and try to not... | 3,489 |
I want to live with my mom. My dad gets angry and makes me feel like everything is my fault. I still talk to my mom although My dad tells me that I'm no allowed to. I'm scared I will make the wrong decision and that my dad will hate me.
How do I tell him that I want to live with my mom? | Yes, from what you wrote, your dad doesn't accept responsibility for the way he feels and blames you for his feelings.I'm glad you recognize he's handling himself less as a grown person and more like a young child.I also understand your hurt and frustration that your father handles himself in a way which shows for now ... | 3,490 |
We rent from from my boyfriend's parents. His father drops by unannounced and stays for long periods of time. He lets himself into our home when we aren't there on a daily basis and takes our dogs to his house. He picks up our mail. He has NO boundaries.
He's an opinionated, rude pushy person. He expects to spend e... | You're expecting reasonable behaviors from your boyfriend's father.Since the father is his, your boyfriend is the person in position to speak directly with his dad about the expectations you and he have of the father.If your boyfriend has a good relationship w his dad, which is not what this sounds like, then great!If ... | 3,491 |
My dad makes me feel like shit and like I'm worthless. He calls me names and makes me feel depressed. I want to move out because I swear if I stay here, I'm going to lose it. What can I do? | If you're actually able to afford to move out and support your own life, then this is a reasonable choice.If you're not in such a position and must continue for a while to live w your dad, then emotionally protect yourself from him.Doing so is much more difficult than maybe it sounds.Do you have privacy in your house a... | 3,492 |
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do? | Anxiety or panic attacks can be very frightening. Here are a few "tools" you can use that will help in the short term: Keeping your mind occupied by listening to books on tape may help; Counting backwards from 100 in 7's; Naming cities that begin with each letter of the alphabet; Keeping some ice or an ice pack in a... | 3,493 |
I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? | Many people have thoughts like those you describe, and often it feels like someone else is saying it because they are things that may have been said to you when you were very young. When young children hear negative things about themselves they tend to internalize these negative ideas and to form negative core beliefs... | 3,495 |
I'm planning to have baby, so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need, it's mental.
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction? | Breaking any habit is no easy feat. Cutting down or cutting out cigarettes is very challenging, and there aren't any one size fits all solutions. Fortunately, there are a lot of tricks and tools that you can use to stop smoking. 1. Many habits that we have are paired habits. If we do one thing, then we will do the ... | 3,496 |
I am in a high stress position for a tech company. I am being overworked and underpaid for my contributions and it is not only giving me anxiety, but also demoralizing.
What can I do to manage my stress? | Being in this position is tough. If seeking another career opportunity isn't viable, there are a couple of things you can do to manage stress on the job. 1. Have a ritual to begin the day: Consider setting a one sentence intention and plan tasks for the day2. Take the breaks you are offered. I know it can be difficul... | 3,497 |
I'm dealing with imposter syndrome in graduate school. I know that by all accounts I am a phenomenal graduate student, and that I am well-published. I am well liked by students and faculty alike. And yet I cannot shake the feeling that I'm going to be found out as a fraud.
How can I get over this feeling? | It sounds like you are on the right track. Recognizing these nagging thoughts of self- doubt as "imposter syndrome" is a huge step in the right direction. From what you have written here, it appears that you are able to challenge your own thoughts and provide yourself with evidence that counteracts the imposter syndro... | 3,498 |
My mother is combative with me when I say I don't want to talk with her about my depression.
She hasn't been supportive of me in the past and she isn't someone that I feel comfortable opening up to. She constantly tries to instigate conversations where she asks me questions that I don't want to or can't answer. I ... | Your situation sounds extremely frustrating.You're doing the right move to state you don't want to discuss your depression with her.I guess you could ask if she would like to know your reason to not speak w her about your depression. If you feel she can handle a reasonable conversation, and you would like to tell her ... | 3,501 |
I am in my early 20s and I still live with my parents because I can't afford to live alone.
My mother says that if I live under her roof I have to follow her rules. She is trying to control my life. What should I do? | Hi! I'm sorry you are having such a tough time with this situation. I have worked with a number of young adults in their 20's who have had to move back home after college , or even stay at home through the college years. Bottom line is that either way , it is so difficult when you are trying to discover who you are... | 3,502 |
My daughter seemed to be developing at a normal rate until about the age of 10. She then started to act younger than she is.
Now she only wants to play with younger kids and she doesn't act her age. I don't know why this is happening. Is this normal? | Hello.It sounds like you are really concerned about your daughter because you have noticed a significant change in her behavior . It's really a great first step that you are reaching out to get some ideas about what might be going on . You are clearly an observant and hands on mom who wants to be sure that her daug... | 3,503 |
After first meeting the client, what is the process that a counselor facilitates? | Hi. This is an excellent question ! I think that the answer probably varies depending upon the particular therapist . In my work with people , once we have met and I have gotten an idea of the person'a concerns and the issues they want help with , I spend the next few sessions gathering as much history and as much ... | 3,504 |
My boyfriend is in recovery from drug addiction. We recently got into a fight and he has become very distant. I don't know what to do to fix the relationship. | I'm sorry you have tension between you and your bf.A relationship means two people who relate, right?! If only one person does all the work to change their approach, what they expect, what they offer the other, then this becomes the new problem to solve.If you've already done a significant amount of reflection and ch... | 3,508 |
The birth mother attempted suicide several times while pregnant. The adopted mother was terminally ill upon adopting the baby and died when the child was just over one year old. The adopted father then remarried to a physically, psychologically, and emotionally abusive woman. The child was placed in foster care at 1... | The true answer is, "no one can really say with certainty".The variables are the way this child absorbs and adjusts to these significant changes in their life. All anyone can do is guess at this point and there's no good reason to guess.The only general certainty is that the adult whom this child becomes will have had... | 3,509 |
I think adult life is making him depressed and we often sleep in on weekends untill 1 or 2 pm. We just eat, smoke weed, watch movies, and he'll go on his phone all day. He doesn't seem motivated to do much and he's often angry.
I have no clue how to help him take his mind off the negative, or to distract him into a... | How do you help yourself to believe you require more than what he offers to you?What do you get from this relationship which feels satisfying?To answer this question may in the longterm be the best way to help your bf. | 3,510 |
I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.
People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do? | hmm this is a tough one! | 3,511 |
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