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-Fuck! [sobs] -[Munk] Shhh.
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-Please, no, no. -It's OK.
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Please.
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[whimpers]
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Leave her alone.
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[shouts] Leave her alone. [groans]
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[Munk grunts]
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[groans]
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[sobs] Help me.
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[Ashley O] Get these things off me.
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It's not opening.
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[Rachel] It's too strong.
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Stop moving.
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Uh, geniuses, there's a release button under here.
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-What? -[Ashley O whimpers]
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-[whirring] -[pants]
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[Jack] OK, come on.
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[Rachel] Come on, come on. Here we go.
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Who are you guys?
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I'm Rachel and like I said, I'm a huge fan.
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[Ashley Too] Listen, lover girls, we gotta move.
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Why is that thing talking like that? All real?
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They broke the limiter, so I am you. Your whole brain. I'm all of you.
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I can't believe there's two of you.
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That thing isn't all of me.
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I'm all of me.
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Really? Senior high, I had, like, a major crush on Ryan Simmonds,
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but he was just not interested,
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so I made out with his brother, Stevie, even though his braces scratched my teeth.
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-Actually, Stevie was the first guy-- -you have to Shut up.
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Also, I'm not allergic to shellfish and I hate my Aunt Catherine.
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Aunt Catherine, oh, my God, we have to stop her.
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Stop her from doing what?
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[indistinct chatter]
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Are you ready?
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[announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, Catherine Ortiz.
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- ...on ambition and verve -[applause]
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I'm gonna get what I deserve
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- So Full Of ambition and verve - Hi.
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- I'm gonna get what I deserve -[applause]
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome and thank you for joining us
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as we introduce you to a brand-new, yet strangely familiar, superstar.
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-Come on, to the car. -Uh-uh.
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-What? No, No, No, Come on. -Uh-uh.
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You'll be fine. Come on, let's go.
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Get in. Come on.
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[tires screech]
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Fuck.
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I don't need to tell you that in an age of streaming content,
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live tours are now by far
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the most lucrative aspect of the music industry.
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But for the past six months, Ashley, of course,
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has been sadly unable to participate...
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until today.
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Ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to introduce you
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to Ashley Eternal.
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[audience cheers]
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-Isn't she great? -[intermittent whooping]
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Ashley Eternal is the most accurate
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and versatile holographic performer in history.
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Photo-realistic and fully controllable,
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right down to instant costume changes.
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[murmuring]
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[all gasp]
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-Oh, my God. -Jack, do you know the way to the stadium?
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-No. -I do.
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They do.
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Wait, that's not all.
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Ashley is also fully scalable.
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And when I say, "scalable," I mean scalable.
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[audience exclaims]
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[Catherine] No more squinting from half a mile away.
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Now the entire audience gets a front row seat,
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no matter how big the venue.
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Finally,
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an act that will make the live audience put down their damn phones,
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look up, and gasp in awe.
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-You have to jump the light. -I'm not jumping a red.
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-go. -No. OK.
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[horn honks]
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I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.
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[siren sounds]
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-Shit, it's the cops. -I'm never gonna get my license.
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And there's more.
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Ashley Eternal is streamable.
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She can appear in thousands of locations simultaneously.
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Imagine an entire nationwide tour, all taking place on the same night.
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Never exhausted, never sick,
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always pitch perfect, bringing her A-game.
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It's not a dream, it's reality.
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But that's enough from me.
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Let's give it up for Ashley Eternal.
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[cheering]
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See me dancing on the stage That I've built
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Spotlight on me shining strong
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Feel such happiness inside of my heart
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- And it's all right here -Give it up.
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Right here in my song See my crew dancing around me
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Hear the audience's screams
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-[siren wails] - Feel like I could jump
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