hfht/SemEval-2021-Task-7-Jokes · Datasets at Hugging Face

id int64 8k 9k	text stringlengths 8 286
8,001	What's the difference between a Bernie Sanders supporter and a fat stripper? A fat stripper actually gets to the polls.
8,002	Vodka, whisky, tequila. I'm calling the shots.
8,003	French people don't masturbate They Jacque off
8,004	A lot of Suicide bombers are Muslims - I don't blame them... I too would kill myself if I was a Muslim.
8,005	What happens when you fingerbang a gypsy on her period? You get your palm red.
8,006	Who's the biggest slut ever? Mrs. Pacman--for 25 cents that bitch swallowed balls till she died.
8,007	Caught a tall black man looking through my window today. I knew he was tall because I live on the 2nd floor.
8,008	A6: It CAN be, but it doesn't have to be. It depends on the circumstances and your partner's attitude to fixing debt. love and money
8,009	Parenting Takes Mom and Dad.. So why do we humans insist on bucking nature? Successful parenting takes two -- mom and dad. parenting family
8,010	Ok folks-I'm gonna try this live tweeting thing again with tonight's west coast feed-60min countdown Action Ackles Supernatura I
8,011	Literally thought that was the best commercial music cue of all time and then realized that it was still our show...what? Love Surprises
8,012	The NFL is gonna be sloppy for a few weeks. No preseason and a weird camp. Get used to it now and please stop clogging up my TL with your "blah blah this is ugly blah" tweets. Fantasy Football scores are gonna be out of wack!
8,013	"Once in a lifetime you were mine."
8,014	For those of you out there who get a shit ton of email every day, much of it not worthy of your attention, but feel compelled to keep a "tidy" inbox: I cannot recommend Priority Inbox to you highly enough
8,015	Adam came before eve.... but then men normally do.
8,016	Yeah...sounds good. Let's go into the woods at night. What could go wrong?
8,017	How did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? "I just need some space."
8,018	Big boobs are God's way of saying sorry to ugly girls.
8,019	"Son, I don't think you're cut out to be a mime." "Was it something I said?" Asks the son. "Yes."
8,020	Here we go East Coast. The season finale of KUWTK starts now on E!
8,021	With all due respect Darla you're smarter than that'. Things can never be the same that's for sure.Queen Sugar
8,022	What's the difference between an oral thermometer and an anal thermometer? The taste.
8,023	Peggy's hatred of the wind has only gotten more intense; if your dog also hates the wind, has a thundershirt helped? Which one do you have?
8,024	You can also look up how do an Apple Cider Vinegar rinse with just Apple Cider Vinegar but this stuff is the good stuff
8,025	I didn't know my dad was a construction site thief, but when I got home all the signs were there.
8,026	[first day as a tsa agent] me: arms up guy: [t-pose] me: [hugs him] you have a great flight
8,027	I regret falling in love with my British girlfriend. You give your heart to her and she Brexit into a million parts.
8,028	"Or else we'll play, play, play all the same old games and we wait, wait, wait for the end to change.' - Same Mistakes.
8,029	Hello it's me I was wondering if after all these years would like to me to go over everything. - Adele
8,030	What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? CLAUStrophobia!
8,031	Good morning, what are you reading on the internet?
8,032	Did you hear about the band who were due to play a concert against teenage pregnancies? They pulled out at the last second.
8,033	Last night I was visited by a ghost who claimed he had "unfinished business." Turns out he just needed something notarized.
8,034	Not to brag, but I have sychic powers. For example, right now you're thinking: 'It's psychic, you idiot.'
8,035	Guy: "Did the bus come yet?" Me: "If the bus came would I be standing here?"
8,036	What do you call an Asian prize fighter who's dad has a serious case of diarrhea? A slap happy jappy with a crap happy pappy
8,037	Anyone else having trouble getting rid of blackheads? I would put them in the bin but the bin men would just get suspicious.
8,038	Darth Vader - The only black man to take responsibility for his child.
8,039	Cremating my mother inlaw today was very distressing. We weren't close or anything its just the fact there wont be a grave to dance on
8,040	I accidentally sent a dick pic to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing, but it also cost me a fortune in stamps.
8,041	Why are the labia on Japanese women oriented sideways instead of vertically? Goes better with their eyes.
8,042	A snail is just a slug with a turban on.
8,043	"Where's your mom from?" "Alaska." "Don't worry, I'll ask her myself."
8,044	i want all the extra fat on my body to fall off and turn into cash
8,045	If an object falls at 500ft/s how far must Mohammed run to escape the blast?
8,046	Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because they come with their own scales.
8,047	"And I'd hope that you'd remember me" - Ed Sheeran.
8,048	I used to be addicted to soap. But I'm clean now.
8,049	In order to fight and reduce wrinkles, eat raisins, prunes, raspberries & spinach. they are rich anti aging supplements wrinkles anti aging
8,050	You say your all dark and twisty, it's not a flaw it's a strength.
8,051	You don't understand, what you do to me when you hold his hand.' - Happily.
8,052	The final four will be: Alabama Clemson Oklahoma SEC team Unless the Bigten joins the game. Then pencil in osu. The good news is we dont have to hear about Oregon or Utah for 8 weeks only to stay up late in November to watch them lose in to 3-7 Oregon State and Arizona.
8,053	Police station toilet stolen. Cops have nothing to go on.
8,054	[teacher] 24 + x + 30 = 90. Find x. [student] It's between 24 and 30.
8,055	I’m talking about ATMOSPHERIC FEEL, those fucking grain silos!!! That light!!
8,056	I wish the GPS lady would periodically say things like "Doin' great" or "Still going the right way, good job."
8,057	"I had a stroke" Is what I intend to use as my excuse to my girlfriend, when she asks why I've been arrested at the strip club.
8,058	My washer and dryer are doing this weird thing where they've started shrinking my clothes and adding stubborn fat around my midsection
8,059	What do you call a person who hates fat people? Weighcist
8,060	Textured drywall I think it is?
8,061	I tripped in France. Eiffel over.
8,062	Very difficult for anyone in West to listen to this talk of "crystal clean air" right now
8,063	What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder without a protein shake? No whey Jose
8,064	This woman said she recognised me from vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
8,065	what dating advice would you give your younger self? Auntie Red Tweet Tea
8,066	When you cry, I cry and when you hurt, I hurt.' - The Notebook
8,067	In addition to reducing PMS symptoms, magnesium helps reduce water retention & helps regulate serotonin, a mood balancer found in the brain
8,068	Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.
8,069	On Monday we start Diarrhea Awareness Week. Runs until Friday.
8,070	Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the "P" is silent.
8,071	Head and Shoulders should make a body wash called Knees and Toes.
8,072	My mum laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta.
8,073	What's the difference between a Mexican and a book? The book has papers
8,074	If you believe everything you read, better not to read
8,075	When you try your best but you don't succeed. When you get what you want but not what you need" - Coldplay
8,076	Just told my joke about Peter Pan again. Never gets old.
8,077	Want to know why he disappeared? These are the most common reasons men disappear from your life.
8,078	"Hiya" is probably the worst greeting you can possibly say to a karate instructor.
8,079	2 years ago, the doctor told me I was losing my hearing. Haven't heard from him since.
8,080	We assume the really serious changes in our lives happen slowly, over time... but it's not true. The big stuff happens in an instant.
8,081	Emotional but great ending to our season premiere. We're back THIS Wednesday...same time, same network! American Idol
8,082	They call guitars axes because you don't want to be around when an amateur gets ahold of one near a campfire.
8,083	I don't understand how Elvis got so fat He ate nothing but a hound dog
8,084	"Up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness" - Paramore
8,085	Monday is a hard day only for those who perceive it negatively.' Monday Motivation
8,086	Today’s smoke update: the house smells horrible because we haven’t been able to open the windows, the dogs are cranky, everyone slept like shit
8,087	I like my women like I like my milk... White, with 2% fat.
8,088	Do couples Share Everything? Do you? If you want to talk Guy Stuff, we are here.
8,089	You know you spend way too much time on Twitter when your wife asks what you're doing online and "porn" is a better answer.
8,090	When I first met your mom, I fell in love with her because she had a kind face... The kind of face I want to fuck the shit out of!
8,091	What's the difference between a midget and a venereal disease? One's a cunning runt and the other's a running cunt.
8,092	Some people are so ignorant and narrow minded. Not all Muslims are terrorists you know. Some are taxi drivers.
8,093	Women have affairs because they are in search of emotional fulfillment, an improvement of their self image, and romance....
8,094	What sound does a Chinese roller coaster make as it goes up an incline? chink chink chink chink
8,095	You can waste your life drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines, that are too dangerous to cross.'
8,096	Just bought my daughter Minion themed Crocs
8,097	"I miss you so much, it hurts." - Dear John
8,098	Yep...my queen is now UPPER MANAGEMENT. I couldn't be more proud of her!!!! /end
8,099	A Latino shot an unarmed black man today, and everyone is in an uproar Especially the police, saying "They took our jobs!"
8,100	'Eat a handful of walnuts before bed. u'll get fiber & essential fatty acids along with the amino acid tryptophan - a natural sleep-inducer'

8,001

What's the difference between a Bernie Sanders supporter and a fat stripper? A fat stripper actually gets to the polls.

8,002

Vodka, whisky, tequila. I'm calling the shots.

8,003

French people don't masturbate They Jacque off

8,004

A lot of Suicide bombers are Muslims - I don't blame them... I too would kill myself if I was a Muslim.

8,005

What happens when you fingerbang a gypsy on her period? You get your palm red.

8,006

Who's the biggest slut ever? Mrs. Pacman--for 25 cents that bitch swallowed balls till she died.

8,007

Caught a tall black man looking through my window today. I knew he was tall because I live on the 2nd floor.

8,008

A6: It CAN be, but it doesn't have to be. It depends on the circumstances and your partner's attitude to fixing debt. love and money

8,009

Parenting Takes Mom and Dad.. So why do we humans insist on bucking nature? Successful parenting takes two -- mom and dad. parenting family

8,010

Ok folks-I'm gonna try this live tweeting thing again with tonight's west coast feed-60min countdown Action Ackles Supernatura I

8,011

Literally thought that was the best commercial music cue of all time and then realized that it was still our show...what? Love Surprises

8,012

The NFL is gonna be sloppy for a few weeks. No preseason and a weird camp. Get used to it now and please stop clogging up my TL with your "blah blah this is ugly blah" tweets. Fantasy Football scores are gonna be out of wack!

8,013

"Once in a lifetime you were mine."

8,014

For those of you out there who get a shit ton of email every day, much of it not worthy of your attention, but feel compelled to keep a "tidy" inbox: I cannot recommend Priority Inbox to you highly enough

8,015

Adam came before eve.... but then men normally do.

8,016

Yeah...sounds good. Let's go into the woods at night. What could go wrong?

8,017

How did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? "I just need some space."

8,018

Big boobs are God's way of saying sorry to ugly girls.

8,019

"Son, I don't think you're cut out to be a mime." "Was it something I said?" Asks the son. "Yes."

8,020

Here we go East Coast. The season finale of KUWTK starts now on E!

8,021

With all due respect Darla you're smarter than that'. Things can never be the same that's for sure.Queen Sugar

8,022

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and an anal thermometer? The taste.

8,023

Peggy's hatred of the wind has only gotten more intense; if your dog also hates the wind, has a thundershirt helped? Which one do you have?

8,024

You can also look up how do an Apple Cider Vinegar rinse with just Apple Cider Vinegar but this stuff is the good stuff

8,025

I didn't know my dad was a construction site thief, but when I got home all the signs were there.

8,026

[first day as a tsa agent] me: arms up guy: [t-pose] me: [hugs him] you have a great flight

8,027

I regret falling in love with my British girlfriend. You give your heart to her and she Brexit into a million parts.

8,028

"Or else we'll play, play, play all the same old games and we wait, wait, wait for the end to change.' - Same Mistakes.

8,029

Hello it's me I was wondering if after all these years would like to me to go over everything. - Adele

8,030

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? CLAUStrophobia!

8,031

Good morning, what are you reading on the internet?

8,032

Did you hear about the band who were due to play a concert against teenage pregnancies? They pulled out at the last second.

8,033

Last night I was visited by a ghost who claimed he had "unfinished business." Turns out he just needed something notarized.

8,034

Not to brag, but I have sychic powers. For example, right now you're thinking: 'It's psychic, you idiot.'

8,035

Guy: "Did the bus come yet?" Me: "If the bus came would I be standing here?"

8,036

What do you call an Asian prize fighter who's dad has a serious case of diarrhea? A slap happy jappy with a crap happy pappy

8,037

Anyone else having trouble getting rid of blackheads? I would put them in the bin but the bin men would just get suspicious.

8,038

Darth Vader - The only black man to take responsibility for his child.

8,039

Cremating my mother inlaw today was very distressing. We weren't close or anything its just the fact there wont be a grave to dance on

8,040

I accidentally sent a dick pic to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing, but it also cost me a fortune in stamps.

8,041

Why are the labia on Japanese women oriented sideways instead of vertically? Goes better with their eyes.

8,042

A snail is just a slug with a turban on.

8,043

"Where's your mom from?" "Alaska." "Don't worry, I'll ask her myself."

8,044

i want all the extra fat on my body to fall off and turn into cash

8,045

If an object falls at 500ft/s how far must Mohammed run to escape the blast?

8,046

Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because they come with their own scales.

8,047

"And I'd hope that you'd remember me" - Ed Sheeran.

8,048

I used to be addicted to soap. But I'm clean now.

8,049

In order to fight and reduce wrinkles, eat raisins, prunes, raspberries & spinach. they are rich anti aging supplements wrinkles anti aging

8,050

You say your all dark and twisty, it's not a flaw it's a strength.

8,051

You don't understand, what you do to me when you hold his hand.' - Happily.

8,052

The final four will be: Alabama Clemson Oklahoma SEC team Unless the Bigten joins the game. Then pencil in osu. The good news is we dont have to hear about Oregon or Utah for 8 weeks only to stay up late in November to watch them lose in to 3-7 Oregon State and Arizona.

8,053

Police station toilet stolen. Cops have nothing to go on.

8,054

[teacher] 24 + x + 30 = 90. Find x. [student] It's between 24 and 30.

8,055

I’m talking about ATMOSPHERIC FEEL, those fucking grain silos!!! That light!!

8,056

I wish the GPS lady would periodically say things like "Doin' great" or "Still going the right way, good job."

8,057

"I had a stroke" Is what I intend to use as my excuse to my girlfriend, when she asks why I've been arrested at the strip club.

8,058

My washer and dryer are doing this weird thing where they've started shrinking my clothes and adding stubborn fat around my midsection

8,059

What do you call a person who hates fat people? Weighcist

8,060

Textured drywall I think it is?

8,061

I tripped in France. Eiffel over.

8,062

Very difficult for anyone in West to listen to this talk of "crystal clean air" right now

8,063

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder without a protein shake? No whey Jose

8,064

This woman said she recognised me from vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

8,065

what dating advice would you give your younger self? Auntie Red Tweet Tea

8,066

When you cry, I cry and when you hurt, I hurt.' - The Notebook

8,067

In addition to reducing PMS symptoms, magnesium helps reduce water retention & helps regulate serotonin, a mood balancer found in the brain

8,068

Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.

8,069

On Monday we start Diarrhea Awareness Week. Runs until Friday.

8,070

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the "P" is silent.

8,071

Head and Shoulders should make a body wash called Knees and Toes.

8,072

My mum laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta.

8,073

What's the difference between a Mexican and a book? The book has papers

8,074

If you believe everything you read, better not to read

8,075

When you try your best but you don't succeed. When you get what you want but not what you need" - Coldplay

8,076

Just told my joke about Peter Pan again. Never gets old.

8,077

Want to know why he disappeared? These are the most common reasons men disappear from your life.

8,078

"Hiya" is probably the worst greeting you can possibly say to a karate instructor.

8,079

2 years ago, the doctor told me I was losing my hearing. Haven't heard from him since.

8,080

We assume the really serious changes in our lives happen slowly, over time... but it's not true. The big stuff happens in an instant.

8,081

Emotional but great ending to our season premiere. We're back THIS Wednesday...same time, same network! American Idol

8,082

They call guitars axes because you don't want to be around when an amateur gets ahold of one near a campfire.

8,083

I don't understand how Elvis got so fat He ate nothing but a hound dog

8,084

"Up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness" - Paramore

8,085

Monday is a hard day only for those who perceive it negatively.' Monday Motivation

8,086

Today’s smoke update: the house smells horrible because we haven’t been able to open the windows, the dogs are cranky, everyone slept like shit

8,087

I like my women like I like my milk... White, with 2% fat.

8,088

Do couples Share Everything? Do you? If you want to talk Guy Stuff, we are here.

8,089

You know you spend way too much time on Twitter when your wife asks what you're doing online and "porn" is a better answer.

8,090

When I first met your mom, I fell in love with her because she had a kind face... The kind of face I want to fuck the shit out of!

8,091

What's the difference between a midget and a venereal disease? One's a cunning runt and the other's a running cunt.

8,092

Some people are so ignorant and narrow minded. Not all Muslims are terrorists you know. Some are taxi drivers.

8,093

Women have affairs because they are in search of emotional fulfillment, an improvement of their self image, and romance....

8,094

What sound does a Chinese roller coaster make as it goes up an incline? chink chink chink chink

8,095

You can waste your life drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines, that are too dangerous to cross.'

8,096

Just bought my daughter Minion themed Crocs

8,097

"I miss you so much, it hurts." - Dear John

8,098

Yep...my queen is now UPPER MANAGEMENT. I couldn't be more proud of her!!!! /end

8,099

A Latino shot an unarmed black man today, and everyone is in an uproar Especially the police, saying "They took our jobs!"

8,100

'Eat a handful of walnuts before bed. u'll get fiber & essential fatty acids along with the amino acid tryptophan - a natural sleep-inducer'